12/27/12

Lawn Care


Reading about grass (no, not that kind) I stumbled over this and  I LOL'd
snip------

2) Healthy soil is loaded with heaps of microbial and macrobial life. Most of these critters are working hard for your grass. Most of those critters don't like salt.

    lawn care wormLet's take a quick look at an earthworm. I'm going to call him ... Fernando.

    Fernando tunnels through the soil, eating as he goes. He gets to the surface and poops out a lot of dirt and digested organic matter. His travels make it so the grass roots get air and water. He eats organic matter like dead leaves and dead blades of grass. He converts them to materials the plants can take up as nutrients.

    In an organic yard, Fernando takes a decaying blade of grass down in his burrow and munches on it "These things are my favorite!" says Fernando. "I need some more!" Back at the surface, Fernando finds some home made compost "What is this? Oh my! This is my new favorite! (munch munch) It's so good! (munch munch) How can this be crunchy and chewy AT THE SAME TIME! Oof, I'm so full. I wanna have sex and have lots of babies so they can enjoy the crunchy chewy stuff."

    In a yard that uses chemical fertilizers, Fernando says "AAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE, HIDEOUS PAIN! I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM IT, BUT IT IS EVERYWHERE! ACK! ACK! HEEEEEELP MEEEEEEE! URK!"

    (this dramatization brought to you by ... compost! It's yummy!)

So I'm making a strong recommendation to not use chemical fertilizers. For lawn care or for anything.

-------end snip[from here]

Pretty good advice.

Cooler than, well, Piss.



This is really really cool, and these three girls are awesome.  First off they're from Nigeria, land of the desperate and home of the crazy, so props just for staying normal. Second they're High Schoolers--one's s only 14--and third it's thinking like this that could save our stupid species.

Nature (a.k.a. the gods) abhor waste. Modern humans thrive on it. To bring ourselves in line with the gods' demands offers our one (slim) chance to survive. Power generated from our own waste products = WIN!
Lotta commenters sour grape that these kids' science project can't solve the World's Energy Crisis®. Them I ask "and in High School YOU perfected what  besides ways to masturbate?"  
This is way better than it seems. 




12/24/12

Oh shit, Christmas! I almost forget.


It's time to repost this one.


       The Bible before Solstice


'Twas around winter solstice, alone in the house


I was reading the Bible, as quiet as a mouse.


The stories were thrown in the book without care;


contradictions abounded, mistakes everywhere.


I could not understand, or believe what it said,


its tall tales of people come back from the dead;


original sin, which was such a bum rap,


blood sacrifice, curses, and other such crap.


When deep down inside I knew something's the matter


I sprang to the web to make sense of such chatter.


Away to the Google I flew like a flash,


to try and make out heads or tails of this trash.


The search engine gave me back millions of hits;


molesters, and con men, and other such shits.


When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,


but hundreds of gods from the earliest year.


With a little old edit, the story of Horus


I knew in a moment it must be the sou-rce.


More numerous than seagulls, gods and goddesses came,


and I whistled, and marveled, and called out their name;


Osiris! Adonis! Dionysus! Mithra!


There's Attis and Ishtar! And Baldr and Krishna!


To the land of the dead! Down to hell they all went,


to the underworld, after their lives were all spent.


Like fertility symbols these gods they all die,


and then get resurrected, back up in the sky.


So back up to heaven these deities flew,


to start new religions, and Jesus did too.


Right there in the gospels, just like you would guess,


a brand new Messiah turned up in this mess.


As I willingly tried to suspend disbelief


from the pages this Jesus guy came like a thief.


He was beat all to shit, from his head to his foot,


and put onto a cross just like Horus was put;


His birth in a manger, and marked by a star,


that's a detail he stole from the Goddess Ishtar.


His magic trick changing his water to wine,


was a ripoff of Bacchus who used to brew 'shine.


He claims to have brought people back from the dead,


that's just like the other gods—what they all said.


And in some of his stories he acts like a cad:


“Hate your mother and father! Don't bury your dad!”


Sends his guys to steal donkeys, and kills farmer's pigs,


and cusses a tree out for not giving figs.


He's a crazy old preacher, who just seems kind of silly


though I had to admit that his book was a dilly,


that tried hard to steal those old stories by stealth,


and I laughed when I read it, in spite of myself.


A shift of my eyes and a twist of my head,


to the headlines, told me I had nothing to dread:


all the Pope's rules have been shown not to work,


evangelicals picket, and act like a jerk;


they cry “war on Christmas” and make silly fusses,


when we put up billboards, or signs on our buses.


But to all the fanatics I give this epistle,


away from your church people fly like a missile,


and I have to exclaim, on this solsticey night,


that millions of us, without gods, are alright.






Happy holidays, everybody!


12/23/12

Irony, cubed



So I saw these two headlines right next to each other



and I LOL'd.  Duhhhh, yeah.   So then I read the certified idiot's post and he's all about how it ain't guns, it's mental illness. It's laying on the irony pretty thick for a politician from Scarolina, taking Jim Demental's place no less, to talk about mental illness, but he missed the whole point, no surprise.

We gots a president who maintains a kill list. The mafia does that. Serial killers do that. not the president of your country, unless you live in a  third world shithole, mmm ...  never mind.  So here's the entire government wanting to detain people without trial, hold them indefinitely, and TORTURE THEM, and a dickhead talking about "moral decay" is referring to something else? 

I give up.


12/21/12

12/19/12

12/17/12

Stupid Question of the Day


Q:

A: 1934 

Geez. they don't know how the human reproductive system works, and they want to pass laws about it; they don't know how guns work, and they want to pass laws ...

Here's a better question: What can a semi-automatic rifle, like the one used in Sandy Hook,  do?

A:

12/15/12

A National Tragedy



The nation is in mourning: flags at half mast, the President on TV, crying, news filled with speculation on what unfathomable evil that could drive a person to commit such acts ...



link 1         link 2

  Is a child's life worth less when they are born in Connecticutt or Waziristan?

12/12/12

Ban Life Jackets




Guide to the Republican Health Care Plan


Confused by all the details of the health care debate?  Wondering what you will do if the Republicans succeed in cutting Medicare and Social Security when you can't afford insurance?  Don't worry, they have a Plan!  Should you become sick or disabled, simply follow this easy step-by-step guide.




12/11/12

Yikes, they're here!



Saw one of these on the car in front of me today. Aside from those weird vertical initials and the  three torture devices on the left, what's up with URLs on license plates?  How soon before they start selling ad space and we have



oh shit, never mind.


Cause and Effect


Watching the Hatfields and McCoys Israelis and Palestinians go at it again, I noticed this slight discrepancy in the Israeli response.


Cause
 Effect
3 Israeli citizens killed,
 63 injured,

This

24 Israeli citizens killed,
 200,000 injured


This

Can't say I'm the least bit surprised. 



12/10/12

Screw You Tube


Let's watch a video.


(click)


How do I close this damn thing? I'll press  "preview", since IT'S THE ONLY CHOICE I'VE GOT!




I don't need to see a video anyway.