1/31/12

Iranian aircraft carrier enters the Gulf of Mexico



(Tehran, FNA) The Fars News Agency has confirmed with the Republican Guard’s North American Operations Command that a new elite Iranian commando team is operating in the U.S.-Mexican border region. The primary day-to-day mission of the team, known as the Joint Special Operations Gulf of Mexico Task Force, or JSOG-MTF, is to mentor Mexican military units in the border areas in their war with the deadly drug cartels.

The task force provides
“highly trained personnel that excel in uncertain environments,” Maj. Amir Arastoo, a spokesman for Republican Guard special operations forces in North America, tells Fars, and “seeks to confront irregular threats….”

The unit began its existence in mid-2009 — around the time that Washington rejected the Iranian leadership’s wish for a new diplomatic dialogue. But whatever the task force does about the United States — or might do in the future — is a sensitive subject with the Republican Guard. “It would be inappropriate to discuss operational plans regarding any particular nation,” Arastoo says about the U.S.

 Tom Englehart has the details here 

1/30/12

the Year of the Lolcat


Since all 193 members of the Pennsylvania Clown Car just passed House Resolution 535 without one single one of them standing up and shouting
"Is this stupid shit what they're paying us 174 grand a year to do?"
(193 x 174 = 33.6 million dollars), I offer this helpful amendment.


THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF PENNSYLVANIA
AMENDMENT TO HOUSE RESOLUTION
No. 535 Session of 2012

 JANUARY 23, 2012

INTRODUCED AS NONCONTROVERSIAL amendment to RESOLUTION UNDER RULE 35, JANUARY 23, 2012

A RESOLUTION An amendment

1
Declaring 2012 as the "Year of the Lolcat Bible" in Pennsylvania.
2
WHEREAS, The Bible, the ostensible word of the God of the Old Testament, arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”1 has made a unique
3
contribution in shaping the United States as a distinctive and
4
ostensibly blessed nation and people; and
5
WHEREAS, Sectarian warfare over Deeply held religious convictions springing from differing interpretations of the
6
holy scriptures and inability settle differences like adults led to the early settlement of our country; and
7
WHEREAS, Biblical teachings inspired, by providing counterexamples of what must be avoided at all costs, concepts of civil
8
government that are contained in our Declaration of Independence
9
and the Constitution of the United States which we are violating six ways to Sunday by doing this; and
10
WHEREAS, Many of our great national leaders, among them
11
President Washington, President Jackson, President Lincoln,
12
President Wilson and President Reagan LOL, paid tribute to the
13
influence of the Bible in our country's development, as
14
exemplified by the words of President Jackson, who made reins for his horse out of the skins of Americans he had killed, among other things [2], that the Bible is
15
"the rock on which our Republic rests"; and
---page 2---
1
WHEREAS, The history of our country clearly illustrates the
2
value shameful legacy of voluntarily applying the teachings of the scriptures, such as Deut 20:16 “do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them ... as the LORD your God has commanded you” in
3
the lives of individuals, families and societies; and
4
WHEREAS, This nation now faces great challenges from lunatic Christian theocrats that will
5
test it as it has never been tested before; and
6
WHEREAS, Renewing our knowledge of and faith in God through
7
holy scripture can strengthen us drag us backward into a new Dark Ages as a nation and a people;
8
therefore be it
9
RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives declare 2012 as
10
the "Year of the Lolcat Bible” in Pennsylvania in recognition of both
11
the formative insidious influence of the Bible on our Commonwealth and
12
nation and our national need to study and apply point and laugh at the teachings of
13
the holy scriptures.
    1. Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, Great Britain: Bantam Press, 2006, 31.


    1/29/12

    Join the Pack


    We already had a president who blew up frogs for kicks, and look where that got us.  Now we might get a dog-torturer?
     

     Seriously America, this is the best you can do?
    Susan Estrech spells it out. Cruelty to animals is the mark of a psychopath, duhh.

    Dogs Against Romney, for realz.
    Join the (super)-pack.


    1/28/12

    The Rape Opt-out Fee


    At last!  After groping, molesting and terrorizing millions of us little people, which is fine, the TSA goons finally messed with a Worthy Person, aka Senator Rand Paul, also known as Sarah Jr.   He refused a homosexual encounter at Nashville airport and  got beat up and thrown in jail  had to take a later flight. He stood up for us peasants real good, though, screaming about freedom and the police state and all, until this:
    He suggested there should be a "trusted traveler" program in which people who travel frequently and are known to be not a threat, like congressmen, don't have to be searched.
    Trusted, yeah right, because no congressman has ever shown themself to be
    WAIT!!!  HOLY SHIT, THIS IS REAL!  

    There already is a Trusted Traveler Program. You pay them a hundred bucks and they agree not to sexually assault you!  They've already extorted  four and a half million dollars with this scam.  The Mafia's got nothing on these guys. 

    1/27/12

    The ONION to close down


    The popular parody site The Onion, which creates parodies of actual news stories by its use of exaggeration and hyperbole, has decided to call it quits. Now that Senate Bill 1418 has banned putting "aborted human fetuses" in your food, there's no longer any point, says company spokesman Dee Jeckted,

    "What's the use of a parody site when we just repeat what's on the evening news?   
    Shortey, after spawning the greatest comment threads the internet has ever seen, defended himself using lots of words to say "I am an idiot", but then there came Rebel Fleet Surrenders to Gay Empire. The Onion staff concluded that  if they took things  any further  this far it would stop being funny and just be stupid. 


    1/26/12

    A real Hero


    My hats off to Miran Istina. She's only 18, and she's dying, but she's a leader, and she says

    "My heart is finally satisfied."

    A few decades back my son had the same disease as Miran. There was no cure back then, but the doctors pitched in and did everything humanly possible.  They couldn't save him, but today there's a cure and people like him and Miran don't have to die.  Don't have to, that is, but will, because they won't get that cure.

    Miran won't get it because it would cost the insurance companies a buck. The doctors spent approximately a million dollars trying to keep my little boy alive, but that was a different time,  in a different country, before this one became the "homeland". 

    Oakland, 29 Jan 2012



    I feel sad.


    1/21/12

    Evil shirts


    I love this perfect response to evil, reminiscent of the Pink Chaddi Campaign, which seems to have worked rather well.

    So we've got representatives[sic], elected to represent the people, abusing the  people the children of the people they represent, because they insist that we OBEY THE FUCKING LAW!  How pathetic is that?    


    "Government of the evil little things, by the evil little things, for the evil little things."  
     

    1/19/12

    SOPA explained


    This is Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Beer, Wine, and Liquor Lobby), author of SOPA, and ... copyright violator.



    Any questions?

    hat tip, 'Bina at News of the Restless

    1/18/12

    What's wrong with this?


    I don't see anything wrong with this ad. It's just a picture they took, on the street, of some real people--all friends who know each other---doing ordinary things.  But some assholes on facebook knotted up their panties and threw a hissy fitover how "disgusting"  it is. There are WOMEN! FLIRTING, with MEN! The Horror! wtf???

    Maybe I'm an outlier. I have good memories of places where a lot of people use ASL, and it was normal for us to have conversations like this, through the glass, with people on the sidewalk outside. Coz we didn't need to hear each other, see.  So I don't see anything unusual about this ad  Do you?


    This report on it though in Gawker, disgusting is the word for that. Cornfed women? STD-prevention? Srsly? Sex-starved 15-year old Adrian Chen can take his projection, insults, and misogyny and pack sand in his ass. 

    1/14/12

    Funny and True


    This video made me laugh--true on so many levels.

    Click for lolz and troofs

    Q: If corporations are people, doesn't that make Union Carbide a serial killer?
     update:

    1/15/'12  Stephen Colbert:
     Yes, and so is Mitt Romny!   LULZ!  

    1/13/12

    Crowboarding


    This is a crow having fun



    Nothing I say could improve on this DU article, so I give you it. Be sure and read the comments, too.

    1/12/12

    Steps in the right direction


    I.
    Browsing through the Cathouse Newsletter, I noticed a couple of new laws in Nebraska. One moves neglect of an animal that results in its injury or death a felony.
    The other requires biannual inspections for operations dealing with cats and dogs, like breeders and kennels. It also provides more inspectors and enforcement.

    II.
    Traditionally, pets are only worth their market value — like a table or a car.  Well bullshit, and a Texas court has agreed.



    Now this dog may be worth as much
    as the table he is sitting on.
    If someone destroys family heirlooms that are of great sentimental value, even though the heirlooms may be nearly financially worthless, damages can be awarded because of their sentimental value. The new court ruling, ... gives pets at least the same value as other items that are of negligible monetary value but great intrinsic worth.

    “Because of the special position pets hold in the family, we see no reason why existing law should not be interpreted to allow recovery in the loss of a pet at least to the same extent as other personal property,” 

    Well no shit. All the "pet industry" groups are dead set against this--they're afraid it'll cost them money (there's some good discussion in the comments) Piss on them, is what I say. Maybe now Texas cops will be a little less likely to shoot your dog.

    1/8/12

    Sloth Break


    I was too slow for sloths! I didn't find this show about the world's only SLOTH ORPHANAGE (!!) until too late.  Mayby it's a good thing, if  it had more cuteness than its trailer I don't know if I could handle it.



    Slothville  

    the Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica

    the Sloth Blog  


    Do those links need any explanations?  Go, Click. What, you're still here?  


    1/3/12

    Moar Singing


    This  rewriting songs is fun (it's what you do when you don't have any talent and can't write your own).  Some people get upset though; imagine if I did this:  

    ------------------

    Imagine there's no seven
    it's easy in base nine.
    Six and eight adjacent
    and 10 is really prime.
    Imagine all the people, doing math that way,

    You may say I'm defiling,
    but I'm not the only one.
    I hope some day you'll chill out
    and the world will be more fun

    Imagine there's no censors
    telling us what to do,
    no theocrats in congress,
    and no religious prude.
    Imagine if the people mind their own business

    Imagine there's John Lennon
    he writes a fucking song
    about peace and brotherhood
    why can't we get along.
    Imagine all the people, fighting over that

    You may say I'm defiling,
    but I'm not the only one.
    I hope some day you'll relax
    and the world will be more fun 
     ------------------

    Oh Say Can You Sing


    My rendition of our national anthem, dedicated to Senator Vaneta Becker (R-of course!), who wants a law sticking us $25 if we don't sing it the way she thinks is respectful.

    Oh, say, can you see, Becker having a fit,
    at us kids on her lawn, she's so rabidly screaming?
    Our anthem is all wrong,and we don't give a shit,
    and we sing it our way, not the way she is deeming.

    And if she had her way, she would make us all pay,
    make laws, in the night, tell us all what to say.
    O say, does our freedom of speech still apply?
    It's the land of the free, she can fuck off and die.

    Oh, and Here's the music, Vaneta.

    -----------------------

    If any song needs changing it's this one. You can't sing it, and the lyrics suck. They took an old kareoke nightmare  and changed it into a masturbatory fap to jingoism: bombs, rockets, blood, America Fuck Yeah!

    "No refuge could save the hireling and slave
    From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave"

    That's the ticket, "Kill 'em all, let god sort 'em out". Wait, isn't that what terrorists do?  We're all terrorists now--it's prophetic.
     
    Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
    Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!
    ... And this be our motto: "In God is our trust"

    Heavenly Powers, wooo yeah, First Amendment Praise God! Amen!

    Then conquer we must,

    Just hold it right there. Stop. Conquering, seriously?  How sick is it to burst into patriotic fervor over conquering somebody?
    We  desperately need a new national anthem.
    Also new senators.